There she lies internally bound at the bottom of the mountain range. Opening her eyes taking in light for what feels like the first time in such a long time since being cloaked by darkness. She wants out, she wants to scream, rage, be heard, and hear herself let go of the pain she has held tightly in the silence. She was taught to be silent, quiet, reserved, and modest when it came to her "overly sensitive emotional nature." She sees how this has served in ways, aiding her in survival at a point in time, and being a "well-balanced" adult while hurting her in other ways through denying her pain. She feels the binds and blockages of the hidden walls within the mind that were built by others and reinforced by herself.
A chill sweeps through her as she hears the whisper, "The Earth Can Handle Your Rage." She repeats, "The Earth Can Handle My Rage," as she tastes the sweetness of this truth for the first time until it breaks aloud from her lips in declaration on repeat. The realization grows stronger, "The Earth can handle my rage, she has enough room for me, and needs me to be me exactly as I am in this moment, hurt and all, she needs me as much as I need her." She knew from that moment, playing small was no longer an option she could accept and self-impose but she was still met by the fear although it couldn’t stop what had already been started.
She swiftly inhales expanding the lungs to their full capacity than a scream from her core roared to the top of her throat as she threw her head back and opened her mouth to release the fiery blast of emotion held in the base of her being. The pain pulls upwards from her hips, piercing every rib, shocking each organ, electrifying the throat, and exploding the mind. She welcomes this descent into the deep throws of mind to bring light to the confusion, pain, and sense of separation. There, in this dark night of the soul, from the grace of the divine and an unshakeable Will, a small fire flickers within knowing this dive into the shadows is the fuel for ascension into Spirit and Heart.
She becomes aware she is surrounded by a sisterhood of women supporting the metamorphosis. She was held, provoked, and encouraged. She still could feel the trappings of family curses, intergenerational and collective trauma, past life karma, conditioning, and present life wounding. She saw the light but still feared to sing the truth of this recognition and claim her power, her heritage, her voice. She tests the waters for permission to cry out again, but she knows one day she won’t have to do that any longer. She sobs in her quiet surrender but brooding beneath the surface of her poised nature was the growing waves of a ferocious roar that could shake the grounds around her. She yearns to sing in ceremony, but the fear relentlessly tests her Will to see if she will back down. She then felt the wild ways of the coyote run through her veins. The nature of this creature flashes before her eyes and she sees that it lives in freedom, refusing domestication or being denied its nightly rituals to Moon cry and night howl.
The energy was surging again, thrashing, primal and chaotic, violent waves of rage, pain, inner-torture, and silence. The silence was where she for so long felt refuge but now that silence was becoming a prison. She could no longer take the silence; she needed to break the silence, to know that she existed. She craved to feel the burn in her throat and the exasperation of the lungs as she howled her war cry until no more sound could be pulled through her bones. The pain was hers yet no one’s. The labor pains of this renewal were underway. To her surprise, the surrender she had been practicing all these years activated an ancient code within the body and the remaining healing was not self-directed but rather taken over by spirit’s direction. All that was asked of her was to be the space that gave witness to the rebirth, the rest would occur of its own will, Divine Will.
Without restriction her head once again is thrown back opening the air ways and at the top of her lungs she cried her absolutely beautiful war song with every ounce of life force energy behind it. Visceral, guttural, cathartic. The mind unlocks itself from the cuffs of fear, the heart explodes open, and the spirit radiates its light like never before. It sounded like magic, pure magic. The forest and women around her stood still, accepting, weeping, holding, surrendering. She felt the rush of energy move through her; she wanted to run, scream, laugh, and cry. She wanted to beat the Earth with her fists and feet in a drumming ceremony to awaken the Earth to this newfound and reclaimed power. Here, she was after all this, still sensing the presence of the fear of not wanting to cause too much commotion but this time the fear did not own her or stop her for one second. A soft humming spread from the throat and laced the air with sweet melodies of survival, transmutation, freedom, unity. Her voice became louder and louder until she was chanting in ceremony. The vibration of this authentic expression soothed the cells of the body. The Medicine Woman was born yet already existed.
The fear no longer owned her voice or the rights of her Will to exist and be heard. This Cosmic Earth Queen drums her hands and feet to the rhythm of her own heart drum, synchronized with the Earth’s heartbeat. The coyote energy morphed into the spirit animal of the wolf. The sounds of a low growl hummed outwardly from her aura, a gentle but firm warning to anything that tries to threaten her power. The sacred sisters joined by her side, witnessing the emergence, while holding space in turn for their own. They place an open hand on the heart that brought her back to her loving, quiet, but powerful nature. Reborn, lying on the ground, covered in light, and loved so deeply by this sisterhood of women. Embraced, seen, heard, celebrated, accepted. Hand in hand they no longer stand still stuck between two worlds. These medicine women walk between the physical and spirit worlds holding their power in their hearts and offering their medicine with their hands. They belong to both, hoping to help join them and aid others to realize this truth for themselves.
The labor pains were gone, the exhaustion, shaking, and shadows were met by integration, revival, light, freedom, and the love that was unearthed within each other in the sacred healing circle held at the bottom of the mountain. Their authenticity moved one another towards their releases and rebirths. They remembered the truth together and called out… “We are fire, magic, fury, rage, love, light, calm, and chaos. We are Rain, Earth, Moon, and Sun. We are Wolf, Coyote, Bear, and Eagle. We are Human, body, blood, sweat, bones, tears, Heart, Spirit, Creation. We are One, We are All. You could dare to tell her otherwise, but it will make no difference for she tasted a truth that cannot be touched by logic and be reminded that wolf remains by her side and her power is boundless.
Listen closely in the night hours to hear her Moon howls and drumming fists against the Earth as she calls to unite with her fellow light brothers and sisters who also walk this path and to awaken the others to their own inner calling of Spiritual Awakening and Self-Realization.
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